Just what do you mean love?


Is sex love? Is the feeling of desire to have and hold someone in your arms love? Is feeling jealous about a person love? What about this; if you find a person very attractive, and desire to have that person for your very own; is that love? Are there different kinds of love? Is it possible to ever intentionally harm someone because that you love him or her? Just what is real true love, and how does real true love behave?

All of these questions need to be answered for young and old alike. In this article I aim to reveal just what is real true love, and what is not. Satan the devil, the wicked spirit that acts on the unsuspecting minds of people in this world has deceived people into believing many false assumptions about love. Young and old alike have been blinded into believing that they are in love, when in fact they are only in lust. How can you know the difference between real true love and lust?

I know that most people in our modern world today would rather leave God out of the equation, but if you really do desire to know the truth about this all important subject, then we can’t. Love is not a relationship that just evolved. Love has always existed; even before man was created. For us to get the truth about this subject, we must be willing to look to our Maker and let his word reveal to us what real love is. If you prefer to reject God’s authority on this subject, then you will just have to continue on like this deceived and blinded world, in relationships that are not real love at all, and like the rest of the world have your relationships end in like manner, with much disappointment and heartache. But if you are really sincere and desire to know the real truth about love, then continue reading this article.

The Holy Bible states that God is love. (I John 4: 8) Let me remind my readers once again that you should study my writings with your bible open, and prove what I say, for Satan the devil is using many deceived and false teachers to promote his false and deceptive messages also. Just because it is written down in black and white does not make it true. I strongly suggest that you copy my writings and save them to study later with your bible. Look up all of the scriptures and see for yourself if I speak truly according to the word of God. Your future relationships with God and man depend on whether you are building them on truth or false ideas.

God’s inspired word tells us, husbands, to love our wives and, to not be bitter at them. (Colossians 3: 19) God’s word teaches that wives should love their husbands. (Titus 2: 4) How do we do this? Are we left to our own opinions as to how to love? Certainly not! God’s word explains how true love works, and since God’s nature is summed up, that God is love; then he certainly is the one who can tell us the truth about what true love is, and how it works. I will show you some of God’s inspired teachings that will help you understand what true love is, but first, let me give you some examples of what is not true love.

A young man meets a girl and is just overwhelmed with her beauty and sex appeal, so he thinks that he loves her on sight and must try to get her for himself. Is he in love with her? No, he is in love with himself and wants to treat himself to her. It is kind of like a kid walks into a candy store and he thinks that he loves the different kinds of candy. Does he really love the candy? No, he only loves himself and desires to treat himself to that delicious candy. That kind of love is self-centered. It is not wrong to love one’s self, but that selfish love will not do the other person any good; it will not help to build a real lasting relationship with the other person. Don’t get me wrong, a man or woman should find someone that they are attracted to in order to please their self; that attraction doesn’t necessarily have to be physical beauty either, but if it is possible it is going to better serve your own self and therefore help you be satisfied with the physical characteristics of the one that you may come to actually love. As I said above it is not wrong to love yourself, we all do. Read what God inspired the Apostle Paul to write: “So ought men to love their wives, as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church:” (Ephesians 5: 28-29). You might argue that a man who commits suicide doesn’t love himself; but when you really consider it, he does. How? Obviously the man who would commit suicide is very disturbed, and troubled in his “heart” and mind. Such a man is merely trying to relieve himself of a very painful feeling that he can’t see beyond. It is because, he loves himself, that he seeks what he, in his hurt state of mind thinks, will end his sorrows and pain. That certainly is not God’s way for us to deal with our troubles, but such a person is not thinking with the sound-minded wisdom of God. Yes, all of us do love our own selves whether we are wise and educated enough to know what is really good for ourselves or not. It is not wrong to love yourself; God expects us to.

The Great, all-wise, all-loving creator God that made us, designed us with five senses and a brain and nervous system which causes us to be concerned with our self, and our feelings so that we do care for ourselves. The problem is that our nervous system, and our five senses are not designed so as to cause us to feel the pain, or pleasure of another person. And for a relationship between two or more people to be good for all of us, we must care for each other as much as we do for our own selves. This is where real love comes in. God’s law tells us that we need to love one another as much as we do our own selves. (Matthew 19: 19) Jesus farther expanded that law and told us to love one another even as he has loved us. (John 15: 12-13) Jesus gave his life for us while we were not yet even obeying him.

For a marriage to really work and produce good results, and be happy, then both husband and wife need to care for each other, and conduct your lives in such a manner so as not to cause hurt or harm to each other, in any physical or mental way. God’s word tells us that real love works no ill toward another. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the Law (The Ten Commandments). (Romans 13: 8-10) That is why God gave us his perfect, Holy Commandments. The Ten Commandments reveal certain things that we will do, and certain things that we will not do if we truly love God and our fellow humans. The first four of those commandments are directed to help us know what would be necessary to have a right relationship with God and the last six are directed to help us know what will harm or bless our relationship with people. Actually obeying all ten of them is necessary for us to have a right relationship with God, for he also cares about all other people, including your husband or wife. God is not at all pleased when we harm our fellow humans, for He loves them also. Just as a loving parent doesn’t like to see strife between his own children, for he loves them all.

For us to be able to love our fellow humans with a truly pure love we must also first learn to respect and love God, for it is God that gives us who are willing to obey God, of his own Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that will empower us with the ability to consider the feelings and needs of others who are not physically connected with our nervous system, and five senses. Some of the fruits or effects of the Holy Spirit are listed here: love, joy, peace, long-suffering (patience to bear with someone), gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness (being humble instead of pride and vanity), temperance (self-control). (Ephesians 5: 22-23)

It is fine for a person to love himself, but for a relationship to work between two or more people, they must love the other person, or persons and care about how their behavior will affect the other person or persons. Their love for the others must be at least as considerate and good as they would desire for their own self. Examine the Ten Commandments and see if they were not given to us to teach the way of behavior that is a must for us to be able to have a right, good, and happy, loving relationship with each other. Can a man be happy if his wife is lusting after another man? Can a marriage truly work if a husband commits adultery? Can a marriage be happy, lasting, and unifying if they lie to one another, and deceive each other? Can a family be happy and stable if the children are not compelled to respect and honor their parents? Can parents effectively teach their children the difference between right and wrong behavior if they are not first compelled to honor and obey their parents? Will rebellious disobedient children have good happy, long lives? Could people be content and happy if they steal from each other? No! God gave his law for our good and wellbeing. It is a law of love. A loving God in his wisdom has given us commandments of love for our good, that our spiritual relationships between each other will be good and happy for all. When people actually have a real love for each other and not just self, then they will go beyond the do, and don’t of the Law; they will be laboring to serve one another’s interests and wellbeing. (Hebrews 6: 10) God’s way of real love is to seek to GIVE blessings, comfort, and pleasure, and good things to those we love instead of just to GET it for our self.

Consider this; if a boy tries to get his girlfriend to have sex with him before they are married; Is it because he loves her? No! He only loves himself and is trying to satisfy his selfish lust to get the pleasure of sexual sensations, as well as the vanity in his mind of feeling like he must be some kind of special “rooster”, to be able to have sex with this girl. If he really loved her he would consider what he is doing to her character and reputation. If he truly loved her he would want her to maintain good character so that when he married her or if someone else married her that her husband could trust in her, and know that she is pure and trustworthy, and would be faithful. If he truly loved her he would desire for her that when she did get married, that she would be considered a faithful wife of good character; and therefore her husband would be able to trust her and cherish her, and their marriage would be solid and happy, instead of filled with regret, distrust, jealousy, hurt feelings, and anger. No, any boy who tries to persuade his girlfriend into premarital sex is not expressing love to her, but rather he is trying to please his carnal lusts at her expense. A boy like that is not wise enough to realize it; but although he may be in love with his own self, but not according to wisdom, for his sins will also be a curse to his own future marriage and life.

That is one of the main reasons that God commands us not to fornicate; so that real trust and faithfulness can be developed. Jesus Christ is going to marry his true church when he comes back to this earth soon, but he is expecting that the church members all be faithful to him and his way of life. If we are not faithful we will not be a part of the bride that Christ marries. (Revelation 19: 7) (Rev. 2: 10) (Rev. 3: 4) (Matthew 25: 1-12)

Real true love is not just some warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you are with someone that makes you feel good or that you think looks desirable. Real true love between couples may have these things, but true love will be much more. If it is really true love it will involve a real care and outgoing concern for the welfare and wellbeing of the one being loved. When a person doesn’t have a deep concern for the welfare and wellbeing of the other person in accordance with the laws of God, but still desires the other person for making out, and sex or personal reasons; then that is called LUST. A relationship will not work if it is founded only on lust.

There are different types of love, such as a man and woman in a Romantic loving relationship, and the love that a man has for his neighbor, and the love that parents have for their children; but if it is really true love, they will all consist of caring for the welfare and wellbeing and happiness of the one being loved, and not just yourself. That will, of course, be in compliance with the Commandments of God. (I John 5: 2-3) Also remember that true love is expressed in deed and in truth, not just in words. (I John 3: 16-18) True love is not just about what you can get from the relationship, but how willing are you to give. Lust is GET, but love is GIVE. True love is willing to sacrifice, expecting nothing in return for the benefit of the one being loved. True love is compassionate and forgiving. We all are going to make some mistakes; and need to have a compassionate mate to forgive us, instead of just hate us. If we would just treat other people in the manner that we would like to be treated, then we would be much closer to true love.

Remember this also my dear friends: You cannot make someone else love you. You can express true love and there-by make your own self a better person but you cannot control any other person’s mind and heart. Either they have true love in their selves or they don’t. Each one of us has different ideas of what size, shape, and looks, and behavior that we find attractive in the opposite sex. But these things are only the beginning of whether we choose to get to know the other person better. They are simply our choice for our self, what we desire to please our own fleshly self-desires. If we rely only on the physical beauty of a person to decide what we want; we will most often be disappointed after we have bought the whole package. You had better examine and get to know the character of the person. Find out what they are really like. Find out what the other potential mate believes in. Get to know his or her mind, and decide if that is compatible with what you would expect of your mate. Too often in our society, today people come together physically before they even get to know the person in heart and mind; then there is nowhere to go in this relationship except apart. Don’t be that foolish. Exercise good strong Godly character, and wisdom, so that when you do fall in love you won’t get your heart broke.

When a couple is just dating, they should gradually get to know each other, while not becoming sexually intimate, so that they feel that they know each other well enough to be more and more open with each other about who they really are inside their hearts and minds. Couples should eventually come to feel that they can trust the other person well enough to be totally open and honest with each other about who they really are inside. How do they believe and feel about all different subjects that will affect their future lives together? If they disagree on something, then they must be willing and able to educate each other, while being willing to be educated. None of us are born with perfect understanding, nor have any of us been raised up with the perfect family and, learned the perfect answer to all situations. Therefore we have to be willing to; not just compromise in order to please the other person that we desire, but rather, we must be willing to both examine our differences together in honesty and search for the right answer. If we do this honestly we may find that; neither one of us had the perfectly right idea. Or we may find that the other person has a better idea than our own. But if after careful examination we find that we do have the right idea, then don’t compromise just to please the other person, lest you become bitter for being forced off into something that you honestly disagree with. If a couple truly does love each other; then they will be willing to search for and find the true and right way. If one of the dating members is unwilling to seek what is truly right for both of you, then sad to say, that person doesn’t truly love you, but only self. True love is taking two and becoming one with each other in heart and mind; not just in sex, or not just living in the same house.

After a couple has really gotten to know each other, then and only then should they become engaged to be married to each other. This will take a good space of time, for people always put their best foot forward when they are just getting to know each other. You can get to know someone better when things are not going so well than you can when everything is fine. People’s true character is revealed better when you see how they handle difficulties, and trials. It is easy to be happy and show love when everything is going your way; it is when things are contrary that you will have problems. But if a couple has a true love for each other, then they will consider each other’s feelings, needs, and even desires, and will find and accept what is best for both of you. You are not alone anymore, the two of you are one; you must learn to think that way. It will take some time, but all the while of dating and engagement, you must be faithful to each other without being physically intimate with each other. By this faithfulness, you will make the other person learn that he or she can trust completely in you. Many marriages end because of distrust, and disloyalty.

Most of us at this age have never even been taught these things, let alone living this way; so what can we do to fix things now? Acknowledge your wrongs and repent, and start living the right way. It is never too late to do the right thing. God will help you if you can truly see that your selfishness and all of your sins against God’s perfect laws are the cause of all of your heartaches, and then repent and change over to start living God’s way of real love. Of course, this is contrary to our acquired human nature, so we must have Gods help; but if you truly do desire it in sincerity, God will lead you out of sin, and into righteousness, and make it possible for you to obey God and love your mate rightly if you will ask him from a dedicated, sincere heart; I know, I have experienced this. Real joy and happiness, begins when you start obeying God. I know this by personal experience also. It is all a matter of cause and effect; there is a way to happiness that we all can share in if we will have respect for it, and live that way; it is the way of outgoing giving of love. The opposite way is the way that this whole world is living; the way of self-centeredness, lust, vanity, take or get for self, even at the expense and hurt of others. Nobody likes to be wronged, so the selfish way leads to strife, division, bitterness, hate, jealousy, and then we all become very unhappy. God will never give eternal life to anyone who won’t learn to live his way of love. God will not have a family of children who will fight and destroy, and make each other miserable throughout all eternity. No God desires a family of creators, who will live in peace, happiness, and unity with each other forever.

Now we finally come to the subject of the perfect love of God. Very few people on this earth have ever truly experienced expressing this depth of God’s love; but before we are born into the kingdom of God, as God’s very own Spirit composed children, we must learn to love with this depth of love. Before I even explain this love of God to you, I want to let you know that if you are willing, God can help you develop this kind of loving nature in yourself. Don’t be discouraged because you don’t already have it, or because you think it is impossible. It is possible by the mighty working of the Spirit of God in you. Even then it will take time and a growing process that God will guide you through.

This love of God is the ability to forgive and love those that hate you, and do evil against you. Jesus said, “you have heard that it has been said, you shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy: But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that you may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matt. 5: 43-45) The point is God is a loving being that radiates out love to all. God doesn’t just love us because of what he can get from us. God doesn’t just love us because we make him feel good. God is love. God doesn’t just love us for what we are, or how we are: he loves us because we are his creation that is not yet finished. God knows that we are sinners and are living in a very hurtful destructive manner, but he is not finished with us yet. A potter doesn’t get discouraged with his clay and throw it all away just because it is not cooperating with him because it is too dry. No, the good potter will just add some more water and kneed it some more to make it more useable. So also God will do to his disobedient children.

God has a plan to call every human that ever lived and cause them to know that God is REAL and that he is personally involved in their lives. Then if they will repent and surrender to obey God, he will give them his Holy Spirit, which will impart to them a small measure of the love of God, and it will lead them into obedience and righteousness. They must then grow in this gift of God, by yielding to do the will of God instead of just following their human lusts. (Acts 2: 38) (II Peter 3: 18) (I Peter 2: 1-2) You should read all of these scriptures in your own bible, don’t just take my word for it. We are to grow until we are of the very stature of Christ. (Ephesians 4: 13)

Now back to the point, God doesn’t hate us because we are sinners; No, he still loves us, because we have the potential to repent and let Him change us into His own holy righteous character. Even the most faithful Christians, who are trying hard to please God, were at one time gross wicked sinners, adulterers causing much pain and heartache on others of Gods children. We Christians were of all manner of sins; stealing, cheating, lying, deceiving, murdering, fornicating, and living completely according to our own selfish lust. Yet, in all of this God still loved us enough to have his Holy Righteous Son die to pay the death penalty for us, to be applied to us individually when we truly repent and surrender our lives to live in obedience to God. God also loved us enough while we were still living in sin, that he acted on our minds with his Holy Spirit, to call us to repentance, and give us real faith to know that he is real, and caused us to fear him enough to start obeying him; expecting that in time, we would grow to love him and his way of life enough that we would choose to obey out of real love and respect for God and his children. You see the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, (Psalms 111: 10) but when you have grown to have perfect love it will cast out the fear, and you will obey out of love to God and your fellow humans. (I John 4: 18)

Now back to the point; God doesn’t just love us because of how we treat him and make him feel good, or what he can in any manner get from us. God loves us because he is love. Outgoing love away from self, defines Gods nature. We can also have this Holy nature in us if we will yield to God in complete surrender, to do his will. When I first began to realize this, I saw that in me it was impossible for me to obey God; it was completely against my nature; so rather than give up I asked God to do something to me to make me able to obey. He heard my prayer, for he knew that I was sincere, and he has given me that desire of my heart. Since that time, my life has been a learning, growing experience that I have cherished, and am very thankful to God for. God is now using me to help some of you dear brethren, because I now love you. No man pays me to write these things for you all; but I love God and his philosophy of life, which is the way of love. This is because that Gods love is in me by his Holy Spirit. Friends and brethren, for us to truly love the way God does, we must be led by the mighty Spirit of God.

When we practice keeping God’s commandments and showing true unfeigned love for one another; then we will be able to experience the way God lives, and we will come to truly love that way. God’s philosophy of life which is outgoing love to all, is very precious to me. It is similar to the way the American patriot Nathan Hale said in his famous quote: “My only regret is that I have but one life to give for my country”. Friends, those early American Patriots didn’t give their lives for a piece of land. They were in love with the philosophy of freedom and democracy. Those men had experienced the tyranny of powerful, but unloving kings who ruled in a manner that caused harm to much of the people. Those early American patriots thought that they had found a philosophy of life to live by that would solve the great evil of oppression. They were in love with it. Freedom and Democracy!

The truth of the matter is that freedom and democracy is not the answer after all. Our nation has proved that by experience. If you take a close look at all of the evils in our society today, you can see that freedom and democracy have not brought an end to the evils of oppression, one against another. As I have stated many times; freedom is good, but it is only as good as the character of the people that have it. When the majority of the people’s character and morals are pretty good and they have a caring attitude toward one another, then freedom seems to work fairly well. But, as is the case today in America where everyone is selfishly divided against one another; the people are now being oppressed by one another as well as our national, state and local government. God has revealed to his true church that the real answer to this world’s oppression is to live by the way of God’s love and to submit to the All-Wise, All-Loving, and All-Powerful, soon coming, King, God, and Christ. When we have the righteous King ruling, then we will have true peace, prosperity, happiness, and freedom from oppression, because he will rule with love and equity for the good of all. We true Christians are preparing ourselves to be of the Holy nature of God so that when Christ does come back, we can help him rule in righteousness. (Rev. 20: 4) (Daniel 7: 27) (Rev. 2: 26) We will not rule as the kings of this age do, but in the love and righteousness of God’s Law of love; but we shall also rule with the full strength of God. Christ and his saints shall rule with a “Rod of Iron”.

When you truly do come to know the goodness of God, then you will also be as the patriots who were willing to die for their idea of a just form of government. God’s Laws and love, are the perfect form of government. Man today doesn’t have the heart of love for his fellow man to be able to rule in righteousness and justice for all. Man is divided against each other by his own selfish lusts. God’s love doesn’t lust for self, but loves to give for the good of all.

Even when man does have some form of love for others it is not perfect, for man’s love is: I love you as long as I am pleased by how you treat me. I love you as long as I get what I want. I love you as long as you love me and make me feel good. God’s love is: I love you even though you are being an enemy to me and my children because I will help you repent and change, so that you also become a loving being even as I am. Then we can rejoice together in love and goodness for all. If God hated his enemies, then none of us would have a chance, for all of us were enemies of God before we were converted to God’s way of love. (Romans 8: 7) (James 4: 4) God loves the people of this world, but he doesn’t love the selfish, lustful way in which people live. God loves us as a good father does his children when they are disobedient. He loves us enough to punish and correct us for our ultimate good. God is not out to get from us, but to give to us the truth, the way of life that works, and produces good results for all of the family of God. And then he wants to share eternal life, in happiness, peace, and joy, in productivity with us. That is perfect, true Love! Completely unselfish caring for the wellbeing and happiness of, even we who are living as the enemies of one another as well as being the enemies of God. That is why Jesus said that for us to truly be the children of God we must love our enemy’s, and do good to those that hate us; because that is the way God is. Could we be the real true Spirit born children of God unless we were like him? No. God knows that for us to be trusted with all of the power and eternal life that he plans to give us; we must be Holy as he is Holy, lest we corrupt ourselves as the fallen angels did and cause strife and division, and destruction throughout the universe. To be actually born again as the Children of God, we must be Holy as God is Holy. (I Peter 1: 16)

In order for us to be able to love our enemy’s, we must be led by the Holy Spirit of God, and we must be able to view things from God’s perspective. We must understand God’s plan to redeem all of mankind if they will be willing to be redeemed from their sins when God calls them to the truth. We must understand that God loves our enemies, even though he hates their evil ways, and he will someday help them to repent and learn to love with true love also. We are all Gods people through whom he is reproducing himself. We are not all at the same stage of development yet. Eventually God will call and bring to repentance all people, who will let him. You see, we do have our part in this redeeming process; we must be willing to surrender to God when he calls us, and makes us know that he is REAL. Many people have heard it, but few actually know it. God is the one responsible for making that happen, and he will in due time.

When we are able to see things from Gods perspective, and understand God’s mercy and love is not just to us, but to all sinners; then it is a little easier with the power of the Holy Spirit in our hearts to forgive and love our enemies. That doesn’t mean that God loves the evil, hurtful, selfish ways of people. God hates all sin, for sin is our real enemy. The Apostle Paul was inspired by God to tell true Christians that our warfare is not against flesh and blood but against wicked spirits. (Ephesians 6: 12) We have all been slaves to sin, causing much hurt, pain, and anguish of heart and mind to others and even our own selves. God loves not just me, but all of you, and desires that we all come to true repentance in the process of time. Stephen understood this and was able to pray for God to forgive those men who were stoning him to death. If God hadn’t forgiven them the Apostle Paul would not have had a chance, for he was there consenting to Stephens death; before Paul’s conversion of course. Read of this account in Acts chapter seven. True Godly love is merciful, patient, forgiving, and desires good for all. There is nothing more perfect than God’s kind of love, but remember this, God will not forever tolerate man’s evil against one another. Eventually, God will destroy all of the wicked who refuse to repent, and learn to live by God’s way of love. Even this is an act of mercy to the family of God, and even the eternal second death is an act of mercy to end the suffering of the wicked people who refuse to repent. God’s way of life is truly perfect, and produces only good results! True Saints, (Christians) should rejoice in the goodness of God!

In closing brethren, remember this one thing; true love does no ill or harm in any way to anyone. (Romans 13: 8-10)

A true friend and witness of God and Christ,

Gary Stowers